The Choices That We Make
by Delectable Sweetness
Summary: Elizabeth Weir is about to realize that not all of the choices she has made are so easily forgiven.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis or any of its characters. No copy infringement intended. However, I do own my own writing, my own characters and the plot to this story, Delectable Sweetness****.**

**Author's Note: I actually started writing this a few weeks ago and wasn't really sure how to finish it, but as I was re-reading it to see if I could do anything with it… it all kinda just came to me. Enjoy! :)**

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**The Choices That We Make**

"_Simon, what are you doing here?" Elizabeth asked in shock as her ex-fiancé was beamed into the control room along with General O'Neill._

"_Well, hello to you, too, Liz," he replied with a grin._

_Elizabeth scowled at the stupid nickname. She had told him multiple times that she hated that name, and had often refused to answer him whenever he had used it. "What are you doing here, Simon," she reiterated. _

"_He's your new doctor," General O'Neill put in._

_Elizabeth's mouth dropped open. "What?"_

"_Come now, Elizabeth, don't tell me you forgot," Jack teased. Elizabeth gave him her best glare. He held his hands up in a peace-gesture. _

"_I'm here to assist, Doctor Beckett," Simon explained. "I received a call from the SGC telling me that, Doctor Beckett required another doctor on Atlantis."_

"_And since he has clearance, he is the best man for the job," Jack replied cautiously._

_Elizabeth crossed her arms, arched her eyebrow and had told hold back a growl as she took in the two men standing in front of her._

_This was going to cause all sorts of problems, she just knew it!_

She stood outside of his quarters, her heart racing in her chest. She sighed, running a shaky hand through her hair. She should not have come here, but she needed to know if he was okay. He had been so angry when he had gone to his quarters. She knew that he had every right to be, but she also knew that it wouldn't do him any good to hold it in, to bottle it all up.

So, she had taken it upon herself to come and talk to him, to see if she could help. Maybe she was being a fool. She was probably the last person that he wanted to talk to, to see. She couldn't really blame him. She deserved his anger, but she also deserved to say her piece. He had been ignoring her for the last several weeks, only speaking to her when necessary.

Today, though, he had blown up when he had walked into her office and seen _him_ with her.

She came out of her thoughts when she heard the door opening. Lifting her gaze from the ground, she locked eyes with John Sheppard. She swallowed hard, wringing her hands under his intense scrutiny.

"C-can we talk?" She asked softly, slight hesitation in her voice. This really had been a bad idea. Now she was going to have to explain herself, everything.

"I don't think there's anything left to say, do you?" He asked harshly.

"Please John?" She pleaded.

He stared at her a moment before answering. "Fine!" He turned around and walked back into his room.

Cautiously, she followed him as she tried to gather her bearings. She needed him to understand, he had to. She jumped a little, looking back over her shoulder when the door hissed shut.

She swallowed hard again.

She didn't know why she was so jumpy. Maybe it was the nerves…

She groaned internally.

She hated this, hated that he couldn't even look at her.

"I'm sorry," she finally whispered.

He snorted. "Sorry? You don't get to be sorry, Elizabeth!" He bit back. "You don't just get to apologise and act like everything has gone back to normal. That's not how it works– What are you doing here?"

She felt her eyes brim with tears and she had to pull a tight rein on her emotions. "I don't-" She cut herself off, swallowing a sob.

"Don't what?" He spat out.

"I don't want you to hate me!" She cried out.

"Well, it's a little late for that." He crossed his arms in true John Sheppard fashion and glared at her.

"Please John?" She choked on a sob, her traitorous tears slipping down her cheeks.

"Just go, Elizabeth," he whispered, turning his back to face her.

"No," she said determinedly. "Not until you hear me out!"

"There's nothing left to say!" He roared, turning to face her. "You chose him over me!" He yelled, pointing his finger at her in anger.

"It's not that simple!"

"I thought you cared about me!"

"I do," she cried out, stepping closer to him. Reaching out a trembling hand, she rested it against his arm. It was impossible to ignore the fact that it was the first time she had touched him in weeks. She missed touching him. Oh God, she really was a fool!

"Liar!" He shrugged her arm off of him.

"Please John? Please?" She cried out in a roar, throwing herself at him. Her rational side knew that she was making a fool out of herself, but her hurt side didn't give a damn. She felt his crossed arms digging into her chest as she tightened her grip around him. She buried her face in his clothed chest and sobbed.

"You need to go," he said softly, uncrossing his arms.

She shook her head as she fell completely against him. "No… I don't… want to… go," she mumbled.

"You have to go."

"Why?" She asked, hiccupping lightly.

"Because Simon's waiting for you," he replied tersely.

"I don't care!" She shook her head, her tears soaking his t-shirt. "I don't care!"

"Elizabeth, this isn't what you came here for." He placed one hand against her back.

"I know." There was an uncomfortable pause for a moment before she spoke again. "I miss you," she whispered, tightening her grip around him even more.

"Elizabeth… you're killing me," he groaned out. "Why are you doing this? You made your choice," bitterness filled his voice.

"I didn't have a choice."

She yelped in surprise when he gripped her shoulders and pushed her away from him. He stared into her tear-filled, green eyes, his gaze harsh. "You always have a choice," he spat out, letting go of her.

She sniffled, watching as he made his way over towards his bed. "I love you," she called out. John froze and looked back over his shoulder. "I love you," she said again.

John ran his hands through his hair, squaring his shoulders before turning to face her once again. "Stop with the fucking mind games, Elizabeth!" He exclaimed in anger. "You made your choice, and now we both have to live with that! I loved you – I gave you everything, and as soon as _he_ comes to Atlantis, you just up and leave. You fucked me over and I can never forgive you for that!"

"Loved? You – you don't love me anymore?" She asked, knowing that that was not the question she should have been asking. She had come here in the hopes of talking to him, of making him understand. She sniffled. She had foolishly believed that she could have salvaged their friendship. Though, now, she knew that that was highly unlikely and that she should just leave.

"Does it really matter anymore?" He asked sounding defeated as he sat down on the edge of his bed.

"It does to me," she breathed out, moving over to him. She sat down beside him and placed her hand against his thigh, glad that her tears had stopped long enough for her to finally talk while he was calm. "I am sorry," she whispered. "God – you don't know how sorry I am." She ran her free hand through her hair. "When- when Simon showed up on Atlantis I… I didn't know what to do. I thought I'd never see him again, and I'd been fine with that, but…" she trailed off.

"How could you love me if you still loved him?" John asked in a broken whisper.

"I didn't- I didn't love him!" She shook her head furiously. She hadn't loved Simon anymore, but when he had just shown up in Atlantis, he had somehow found a way back under her skin, and it hadn't been such a pleasant feeling.

"And you do now?" He asked forcefully.

"No I… Look, you have to understand that-"

"Is there a point to this?" He asked in frustration, effectively cutting her off.

"Please… please just let me explain?" She pleaded. She needed him to understand why she did what she did.

"Hurry up and do it then!"

Swallowing hard, she began tugging the zipper of her jacket up and down. "My mother is sick and… I didn't know – she didn't tell me the last time I was back on Earth… I only found out when, Simon showed up here," she began to explain rather shakily. "Apparently she had gotten sick while we were cut off from Earth and when… Simon… went to see… her, he told her that… we were-" She cut herself off, choking on a sob. She wiped her eyes using her jacket sleeve. Sniffling, she continued on. "That we were no longer… together and she had… been devastated! She adores, Simon, and I just thought that if, he and I were together… again… then she wouldn't be so upset and hurt and that it would help… with her… recovery," she cried out, swiping at her cheeks to get rid of the tears that had fallen once again.

"And would your mother not be happy that you found someone else, someone that makes _you_ happy?" He asked so softly that she almost forgot that he was angry with her.

She nodded. "O-of course she would – she's my mother!"

"Then… it sounds to me as if, Simon used your sick mother just to get you back and… now he has you!"

Her green eyes widened as realization sunk in. "Oh God, how could I have been so blind?" She cried out, burying her face in her hands.

She felt her entire body shiver when she felt him tangle his fingers into her curls. He turned her head so she was looking at him. She couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips at his close proximity. Her breath caught in her throat when he pressed his lips against hers. She kissed him back, one of her hands moving to rest against his neck. She hadn't realized how much she had missed his kisses. She opened her mouth to him when his tongue traced her upper lip. Their tongues collided, both fighting for dominance. She eased up, allowing him to take control, to explore her mouth freely.

She moaned into his mouth when he pulled her into his lap. He moved his mouth to her neck and pulled open her jacket, shoving it off of her. She slipped her arms around his neck, pushing her body flush up against his, head tilted to the side as he continued to ravish her neck. His hand slipped between them and he hastily popped the button on her pants. She gasped when he shoved his hand down into her panties, cupping her.

"Does he make you this wet?" He asked in a gruff voice, his fingers teasing her folds.

"N-no," she groaned out into his ear.

"Good," he grunted as he roughly shoved two fingers inside of her before capturing her lips in a heated kiss.

She tangled one of her hands into his unruly hair as she sucked his tongue into her mouth, writhing against him. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head when he pressed his thumb against her clit, rubbing it in circles.

She broke the kiss with a sucking gasp, burying her face in his neck. He pushed her back slightly, shoving up her t-shirt and bra, capturing a hardened nipple in his mouth. She threw her head back, her mouth hanging open as her body continued to ripple with pleasure.

She groaned in disapproval when he pulled his hand away from her. She was about to protest when she felt him standing up with her in his arms before dropping her down onto the bed. She stared into his darkened eyes, her heart racing as he tugged off her boots, roughly pulling off her trousers and panties in one go. She swallowed hard in anticipation for what was to come. She spread her legs, her breath catching in her throat as he pushed down his own pants and boxers.

He leaned over her and pushed inside of her in one swift go. She cried out and wrapped her legs around his waist as he began to erratically thrust in and out of her. She tangled one of her hands in his hair and brought his lips down to meet hers, her other hand moving to grip is firm ass, her fingers digging into the soft flesh.

He grunted and she bit his lip when he gave a particularly hard thrust, drawing blood. She moved her lips to his neck and began sucking on the warm flesh. She bit the skin between her teeth lightly, letting her tongue flick out and rub over it to soothe the offended flesh.

"Oh God," she cried out as he moved a hand between them and started teasing her clit.

"You like that?" He growled out in her ear before capturing her earlobe between his teeth and gently biting down on it.

She cried out once again, her hands moving to grip his shoulders forcefully as a tight feeling gathered in the pit of her stomach. "O-a-ahh," she moaned out as he continued to pump in and out of her at an increasing pace.

Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, her breath caught harshly in the back of her throat and her entire body felt like it was on fire. She could clearly remember the last time he had touched her like this, and though she was close, she felt her arousal skyrocketing.

Through her haze-filled mind, she tried to remember why he had stopped touching her like this in the first place. Why had she let him go? Why…

Her thoughts were lost on her when he took a pert nipple in his mouth and began to suck on it mercilessly. She yelped when he bit down on the firm nub rather hard, his tongue flicking out to soothe the stinging sensation that was left behind.

She opened her eyes when she felt his breath against her face. As she stared into his hazel eyes, she could clearly see the hurt, anger, anguish and… love being reflected at her. Tears sprung to her own eyes. She remembered now why he hadn't touched her in any way in weeks.

As if sensing her distress, he leaned down and gently skimmed his lips along her cheek until he reached her ear. His breath was hot and heavy and it made her shiver. "I… love… you," he rasped out.

She gasped, screaming out his name as those three words finally pushed her over the edge. Fireworks seemed to explode behind her closed eyelids as she surfed the waves of her high. Her toes curled and her grip on his shoulders tightened immeasurably as her now sensitive body fell into complete bliss as John continued to thrust in and out of her.

She felt his body tense and she knew that he was close. His thrusts became even more erratic and finally, he came, crying out her name into her neck. He collapsed on top of her, his breathing hot and heavy against her neck. His lips brushed against her skin in a tender kiss while her hands roamed over his back, her fingers tracing his spine on their journey.

She felt him shift and she tightened her legs around his waist. She didn't want to move. She just wanted to stay here like this and forget everything that had happened over the last several weeks. She wanted to forget her stupidity, that she had ever hurt him, that… without him… she really was nothing.

She groaned in protest when John pulled away from her, forcing her legs to drop and hang over the edge of the bed. Pushing herself up onto her elbows, she watched in confusion as he pulled up his boxers and pants. "John wha-" He cut her off.

"You should go," he declared, lobbing her panties and trousers at her.

"But I-" He cut her off again.

"Go Elizabeth! I don't want you here!" His gaze was unforgiving as he moved past the bed and towards the bathroom.

Closing her eyes, she brought her fingers up and placed them against her mouth as another lump formed in her throat. Her vision was blurry when she reopened her eyes, her body feeling numb as she stood up and slipped on her clothes. Bending down, she picked up her boots and pulled them onto her feet, forgetting about doing up the shoelaces. She didn't care what she looked like at this moment in time. She adjusted her bra and t-shirt before throwing a glance over her shoulder, her gaze locking on the closed bathroom door.

A tear rolled down her cheek before she looked way and walked out of his room.

He was right. She had made her choice, and now she had to live with it, no matter how much she regretted it.

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**Author's Note: Well, this ended a lot differently than I planned it to. But I guess it is kind of fitting that it ended this way. Something like that wouldn't be so easy to forgive, no matter the excuse or circumstances! **

**If Elizabeth seems OOC, sorry - let's just over look that... okay? Great! :P**

**Review please. :)**


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